Apologies to All for Stories Grim!

Well, shock horror, I didn’t realise I was so popular, to answer all the questions of where have I been for the past few days, I will tell you ......But be prepared for some graphic descriptions!

Awoke Saturday morning to find a monstrous lump on my lip the size of a small gob stopper. This sadly was the return of my cold sore which always manages to become infected, so eating a hearty breakfast became a bit of a challenge and I knew from then that things were going downhill fast.

By lunchtime, well, I really didn’t feel like lunch but I decided to have a small amount of food to keep me going.
So 2.30pm, I’m sitting watching the end of the practice for the German Grand Prix when my stomach gives a slight growl and I feel as if I’m going to burp. Next thing I know I’m throwing up in the loo. Thinking that whatever it was in my stomach is now clear I actually think I’m OK. Sadly this is not the case and I am busy in the toilet throwing up for the next hour.
In fact I was busy throwing up etc and here I will spare you dear readers the full details for the next 6 hours.

Never have I felt so rough in such a short space of time. Food poisoning, (for that is what my Wife and I have decided what it could only be,) is not a nice thing and this is the first time and I hope the only time that I shall ever have it. It’s when you have been throwing up every twenty minutes (believe you me I timed it!) and it is the sixth hour that the world you live in seems like it should end! Any sympathy you may be getting has long gone out the window and you just want it to all end. When your body has quite literally had enough and can take no more you struggle to sit up for that desperate little sip of water and it starts all over again!
Then just as you feel that it may be all over things start happening from the other end of your body, there readers again, I will leave the rest to your imagination!

Suffice to say by midnight Saturday I had managed to fall asleep and the worst was over. But in the morning I just could not move, I never knew that the Human body could bend and wretch in so many ways and no wonder that afterwards the torso just says," right it’s close down time, I’ve had enough. Thank you and goodbye!"
Sunday I stayed in bed and even by Monday morning when the stomach was feeling better the body still did not want to move. So I spent most of that day in bed or sat watching telly, as there was literally nothing else I could do.

The cause you may ask, was a nice bit of Pork Pie from my favourite supermarket Tesco. Course I can’t be sure, but it was either that or some pasta salad, eitherway I like to blame Tesco's cos that were it was bought!

Now thankfully my stomach has put itself back together and at last I am beginning to feel myself getting back to some kind of normality. However, typically my original problem, my coldsore is still happily tugging away at my lower lip and I suspect will be here for sometime. Since coming back to work on Tuesday, most of my workmates have seen my coldsore and as is the norm, either have tried to ignore it, but still can’t help staring at it. Or blatantly say, "Christ mate what the hell is that on your face?" Still I think I can live with that after the weekend I’ve had.